I was having a great time with Pam yesterday. We were laughing and getting caught up with one another as we shared stories of the week. Then, for some unknown reason, I blurted out something that was just really insensitive. It was one of those moments in life when you realize just a little too late that what you are saying is not going to accomplish anything good. I was stunned at myself because I wasn’t trying to be mean. There are times, to be sure, when my attitude is childish and I say things with a little bite in my tongue but this wasn’t one of them. I was enjoying Pam’s company and I wasn’t aware of anything that was bugging me.
Without hesitation, I followed up the insensitive announcement with, “I can’t believe I just said that. That was so insensitive. I obviously wasn’t thinking because I would never have planned to say what I just said.”
I looked at Pam to see how she was doing and I could tell she was a little stunned also, so I kept talking. “Really, Pam, I can’t believe I just said that. I don’t even believe the words that came out of my mouth. That was so weird. I didn’t even have time to reel them back in, they just blurted out like they had a mind of their own. Whoa, that was really insensitive.”
Fortunately, my rambling rescued the mood. What could have been a hurtful, lingering memory got us both laughing. Pam gave me the benefit of the doubt because I guess I have a long enough track record of sensitivity toward her and she accepts the principle that the tongue has a mind of its own and gets carried away sometimes.
It was a perfect example for me of James 3:2-10, “We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check . . . the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark . . . It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell . . . With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”
So, what exactly did I say to Pam that was so insensitive? Well, it wasn’t a good thing to say the first time and I am not foolish enough to repeat it. You will just have to imagine what it might have been based on your own experience.
Filed under: A Christian Man, James, Love, Marriage | 4 Comments »