Treasure the Unexpected

Some of the best memories of life happen when you least expect them. Last weekend I was in Edmonton. Pam and I spoke at a large conference where we saw more than our share of transformation in a short period of time. Three couples said to us, “We were separated when we came here. If this didn’t work, we weren’t too sure what we were going to do. We have had some kind of a breakthrough and we have found our motivation again.”
Another couple told me, “We realize we haven’t been doing what will really help us. We are a blended family and we have resorted to blaming each other. We are going to start by reading one of your books together and practicing new skills.”
Those were the things I kind of expected to hear. We had prayed for this kind of movement in peoples’ lives and, amazingly, that kind of thing happens regularly at marriage conferences. What I didn’t expect was the inspiration that came from the ride to the airport.
The man who drove the SUV appeared to be an ordinary volunteer. There was nothing striking about his appearance and he was humbly serving as a driver for the conference. As we headed out, we discovered Paul is a member of a quartet called The Crew Guys. He has a natural ear for music and is somewhat of an expert at speaking in dialects. In a short ride, he sang an a capella version of Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus in perfect pitch and then spoke to us in dialects from Ireland, Newfoundland, England and a Southern California beach community. We laughed, applauded and marveled at a gifted man who was content to be a humble servant for the weekend. You can check them out singing the Star Spangled Banner. (Paul is the one with facial hair.)
Matthew 21 started with one of the greatest unexpected treasures in history. It was the beginning of the Passover week and people were flocking to Jerusalem to celebrate the holiday. They had done this year after year and they knew how the routine worked. They made their plans and set their expectations for the week. Then Jesus “sent two disciples, ‘Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me.’ (v. 1-2) ‘They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,
“Hosanna to the Son of David!”
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”
When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, ‘Who is this?’ The crowds answered, ‘This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.’” (v. 7-11)
The highlight of their day was the unexpected entrance of the Messiah. As I go through my week, I am going to keep my eyes open for the unexpected treasures!

Remember

Thankfully, it is a stressful season in my career. Work is currently plentiful and deadlines are looming. I am grateful because it has been a tough economic climate so it is good to be busy. I hate to admit it but the majority of the stress is of my own doing. The tasks before me are in line with my skills. The opportunities are ones we have worked toward for years. The deadlines, though challenging, are attainable. The difficulty comes from my propensity to be self-sufficient. I act like it is up to me rather than remember it is actually a partnership with God. I operate as if human wisdom and ingenuity are the only resources to rely upon.
Men have been falling into this trap for a long time. I know because I saw it in Matthew 16. As was their practice, Jesus and his disciples got in a boat to cross the Sea of Galilee. The Savior took advantage of the opportunity to teach the disciples an extremely important lesson in life, “Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” (v. 6) The yeast of these leaders was a subtle and futile attempt to be self-righteous. They developed an intricate system that appeared to be spiritual and disciplined when, in fact, it was self-effort disguised as religious devotion. It was unrealistic, unattainable and unattached to the real issue of human nature.
Jesus made it painfully clear, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:6) When it comes to eternal salvation, standing justified before God and accomplishing His will on earth, human effort is worthless. When it comes to defeating the sinful nature and finding the resources to live free from condemnation, human effort is worthless. Only grace and the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit can address these needs.
Human effort can imitate these pursuits, however. We can look religious, disciplined, sincere, and committed to righteous living without any help from God. It looks good for a while but it is not sustainable. It is like driving a car with no engine. It will go downhill just fine but then it must be pushed up the next hill before it can pick up momentum again. It is exhausting most of the time with moments of exhilaration.
The disciples thought at first that Jesus was pointing out their mistake of not bringing bread for the trip. They fell right into the self-effort trap. Even though Jesus had fed thousands with a couple of lunches more than once, the disciples were locked into the mindset that it was up to them. I hate to admit that I am no better. When my schedule loads up, I tend to think, “If I don’t push myself harder than ever, this will never get done.” I wish my first thought was, “God is trusting me with a new level of partnership with Him. He has big plans and He just invited me into one of His ideas. It should be interesting to see how He pulls the resources together to make this happen.” Since it wasn’t my first thought, I have decided to let it be my second thought and to let it stick!
Jesus, thank you for the new opportunities ahead for this year and for the reminder that life is a partnership of grace.

Shared Confidence

I grew up in a home where many decisions were made out of fear. We limited our contact with others because we were afraid of people. We spent many weekends in the mountains because we were afraid of what might happen in the neighborhood. We avoided opportunities because of the responsibility that went along with leadership. As a result, I struggled with confidence during my adolescent years. I had an internal desire to be a competitive athlete and a successful student. I was afraid, however, of failing and had a strange sense that I didn’t deserve to accomplish what was in my heart.
I determined that my adult life would be different so I set out to discover what could help me be strong in the face of fear. In this context, Haggai 2 sheds some interesting light on what it takes to be confident when faced with significant challenges. The challenge before them was the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem. “Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing?” (v. 3) Enemies of Israel had torn down the centerpiece of Israel’s history and the task of rebuilding would be resisted by intimidating neighbors. When faced with a daunting challenge, where do you find the confidence to move forward? In Haggai 2, we see the following ingredients:
• Remind yourself you are doing the right thing. Rebuilding the place where God met His people was a critical element in the life of Israel. God’s presence was always the secret of their success and honoring God with a house that was better than any other citizen was vital to their attitude. The people knew without a doubt that this was the right thing to do.
• Remind yourself that God is with you. “. . . I am with you . . . my Spirit remains among you . . . I will fill the house with glory . . .” (v. 4-7) The greatest source of humble confidence is the presence of God Himself. The New Testament echoes this principle over and over as evidenced in Hebrews 13:5, “. . . Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
• Stay busy with the work. Thinking too much about obstacles is the fastest way to paralysis. Life is big and many tasks appear to be impossible. When you get busy doing what you know is right even when you can’t see how it will all work out, things begin to change. Progress raises your confidence and reorients your perspective. Every step forward encourages another step forward. As a result, part of God’s encouragement is “Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the LORD, “and work.” (v. 4)
• Remind yourself of the promises of God. God is an active partner in life. He consistently adds His strength and influence to the circumstances of our lives. Every challenge we face is easy for Him because all His attributes are limitless. He, therefore, utilizes the conditions of our lives to increase our character and influence. At the right time, He then intervenes so that circumstances do not crush us. “But now be strong . . . all you people of the land, declares the LORD, “. . . For I am with you . . . In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all nations . . . The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house . . . And in this place I will grant peace.” (v. 4-9)
Jesus, thank you for sharing your confidence with us!

A Long-Term View

I have often taught that one of the key steps to personal growth is “pay attention to God’s word.” What I mean by this is we focus on verses that stand out and make us feel better because God is using these passages to encourage us as we wrestle with the realities of life. It also means we pay attention to verses that bother us because they point at an area in our lives God wants to strengthen or change. Hosea 1 is one of those portions of the Bible that consistently “bothers me.”
“When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, ‘Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.’” (Hosea 1:2) It seems almost unbelievable that God would ask anyone, let alone a prophet, to marry someone whom He knew would become unfaithful. It would be hard enough if the request stopped there but the plan of using Hosea and Gomer’s experience as an example to the nation of Israel included their three children. “. . . she conceived and bore him a son. Then the LORD said to Hosea, ‘Call him Jezreel, because I will soon punish the house of Jehu for the massacre at Jezreel, and I will put an end to the kingdom of Israel.’ . . . Gomer conceived again and gave birth to a daughter. Then the LORD said to Hosea, ‘Call her Lo-Ruhamah (which means “not loved”), for I will no longer show love to Israel.’ . . . After she had weaned Lo-Ruhamah, Gomer had another son. Then the LORD said, ‘Call him Lo-Ammi (which means “not my people”), for you are not my people, and I am not your God.’” (vs. 3-9)
From a personal fulfillment point of view, it is impossible to accept this as a good plan for anyone. Under normal circumstances, everyone in the family would be discouraged, bitter and resentful. It is simple for us to look back on this scenario and see that God was using Hosea and his family to get Israel’s attention to lead them to repentance. We are capable of seeing the dignity in that calling and the high privilege to be chosen for such a purpose, when it is someone else’s story.
The only way I can see that Hosea could accept this calling is if he had a long-term view of his life. If he honestly believed life is eternal with our time on earth being the short introduction period, he could find the grace to humbly say, “God, I will be your servant and do what you clearly ask me to do.” His kids might be able to accept the prophetic nature of their lives if they truly believed that eternity is real and that God would reward them sufficiently in the future to make the memory of their earthly struggles fade away.
As I read Hosea once again, I am certainly not past the point of being “bothered” by the request that God laid before one amazing servant. I also can’t help but be challenged to pray, “Jesus, give me a long-term view of my life. Rescue me from thinking my entire life is defined by what is happening today.”

I Can’t Believe I Said That

I was having a great time with Pam yesterday. We were laughing and getting caught up with one another as we shared stories of the week. Then, for some unknown reason, I blurted out something that was just really insensitive. It was one of those moments in life when you realize just a little too late that what you are saying is not going to accomplish anything good. I was stunned at myself because I wasn’t trying to be mean. There are times, to be sure, when my attitude is childish and I say things with a little bite in my tongue but this wasn’t one of them. I was enjoying Pam’s company and I wasn’t aware of anything that was bugging me.
Without hesitation, I followed up the insensitive announcement with, “I can’t believe I just said that. That was so insensitive. I obviously wasn’t thinking because I would never have planned to say what I just said.”
I looked at Pam to see how she was doing and I could tell she was a little stunned also, so I kept talking. “Really, Pam, I can’t believe I just said that. I don’t even believe the words that came out of my mouth. That was so weird. I didn’t even have time to reel them back in, they just blurted out like they had a mind of their own. Whoa, that was really insensitive.”
Fortunately, my rambling rescued the mood. What could have been a hurtful, lingering memory got us both laughing. Pam gave me the benefit of the doubt because I guess I have a long enough track record of sensitivity toward her and she accepts the principle that the tongue has a mind of its own and gets carried away sometimes.
It was a perfect example for me of James 3:2-10, “We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check . . . the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark . . . It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell . . . With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”
So, what exactly did I say to Pam that was so insensitive? Well, it wasn’t a good thing to say the first time and I am not foolish enough to repeat it. You will just have to imagine what it might have been based on your own experience.

When You Love What Must Be Done

Blessing or Burden?

Every time I read 1 John 5:3 I stop for a few seconds. “In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome.“ When I read this as a young man, it sounded strange but now that I have a family, it makes much more sense. Over the holidays, I had the privilege to spend time with my kids and grandkids. Since we all live in different cities, there was a lot of work to do to get everyone in the same place. Since my three sons are athletic, there was a lot of work to do to keep everyone fed. Since my grandchildren are 4 and 2, there was a lot of work to do just to keep them entertained and to clean up behind them. Some of the tasks that were required to make our time together possible were:
• Make airline arrangements.
• Prepare the car for travel.
• Pack the car with 5 people’s suitcases and Christmas presents.
• Pack clothes, etc. for a week away from home.
• Buy groceries for 9.
• Clean up toys.
• Prepare 8 dinners, 8 lunches and 9 breakfasts for 9.
• Clean up toys.
• Do dishes 18 times.
• Clean up toys.
• Prepare bread to feed ducks, help my granddaughters get their winter coats on, walk to the lake.
• Carry one of my granddaughters for ½ mile
• Feed ducks at the lake.
• Build a snowman.
• Help my granddaughters slide down a small snow hill.
• Walk back from the lake.
• Carry one of my granddaughters uphill for ½ mile.
And on it goes . . . .
The amazing thing is that none of this seemed hard because I love the people I was doing this for. And that made all the difference. When I am connected to my loved ones and have a mutual environment of love, the work is not burdensome. I simply do what needs to be done without feeling put upon. In the same way, when my love for God is clear, anything He asks of me seems like a privilege rather than a command. The problem comes when I lose focus or connection. Then I feel used, taken advantage of and manipulated. The work hasn’t changed but the weight of the work certainly feels heavier.
I have also noticed a correlation with my profession. When I love what I do, it doesn’t seem like work. When I dislike what I must do, it feels like a chore. I saw this in action over one of the lunches I shared with my family. Two of my sons got out a pad of paper and a pen and started strategizing over football. One of them is coaching in high school and the other one is playing in college. The coach wanted to sharpen his skill so he was asking the player to help him evaluate their defensive scheme. Technically, they were working but you would have never known it watching them. They were animated, energetic and fully engrossed in the conversation. They love what they do so it was not a burden.
The challenge for me now is to allow discomfort to be a reminder. When the work I must do for my family feels like a burden, it means I have lost connection with them. When the work I must do for my profession feels like a burden, it means I have lost sight of the privilege of productivity. When the work I must do in my spiritual growth feels like a burden, I have lost touch with the love God has for me.
May love overshadow everything we need to do this week!

Muddy Tires

Every once in a while I hear a statement that captures my attention and gets my mind racing. It happened recently with my son. He has taken up mountain biking as a hobby and decided to explore a new trail. It had snowed a couple of weeks before and temperatures had been fluctuating from mid-twenties at night to high forties during the day. He researched the trail on the internet and carefully planned his route. He didn’t take into account, however, the fact that the slowing melting snow would impact the trail. I asked him how his ride went.
His reply was, “I didn’t get very far. So much mud accumulated in my tires that they stopped moving. It was so thick I had to pick mud and rocks out of the tread. I finally had to just turn around, find a hose and ride home on the streets.”
We laughed about it as he told the story in great detail but the idea that accumulated mud stopped his progress wouldn’t go away. I started thinking about the ways this statement applies to my life.
• Life is intricate so it is hard to predict every obstacle. I may set goals, plan out a course of action, anticipate the challenges and still miss an important fact (like melting snow creating mud). Remaining flexible enough to make mid-course corrections is as important as being firmly committed.
• In this world, mud accumulates. When it is a little, it is not too difficult to deal with. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) We can “hose off” and get back on the trail without too much effort or agony.
• When a lot of mud gums up the works of my life, I must make significant decisions and put in concerted effort. “Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (James 4:8) If my son had stubbornly kept going, he would have had a very long day. He could have dug the mud out of his tires, rode a few feet then repeated the process but it would have needlessly exhausted him. He could have gotten off and pushed his bike along the trail but it would have defeated the purpose of trail riding. He could have gotten angry and put more effort into his peddling to overcome the buildup of the muddy obstacle. I am pretty confident that would have only wore him out without producing any better results. The best thing for my son to do was to turn around, learn from the misadventure and be wiser next time.
I think the reason this statement stood out to me is that I see so many people stubbornly refuse to make changes when change is obvious. We all battle with desires in our hearts that lead us to unproductive and unhealthy paths. We all hit obstacles despite our best intentions. We all face decisions that could needlessly complicate our lives and halt our progress. So often, we just keep moving in the same direction rather than admitting the mistake and turning around. It has now become one of my goals this year to admit to muddy trails as soon as I am aware of them.

Ready to Stand

The story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego walking around in the fiery furnace is famous. Almost everyone has heard of it and I suspect those of you reading this have personally read the account in Daniel 3. As I read it again this morning, a number of thoughts occurred to me that I hope to keep in focus this year:
• It is possible to be a good citizen and not agree with everything our leaders are doing. “At Daniel’s request the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego administrators over the province of Babylon.” (Daniel 2:49) These three faithfully carried out their duties as citizen leaders. They helped the kingdom prosper as they kept it organized and functioning. They certainly didn’t agree with the religious foundation of the kingdom but they served the people with integrity.
• There will always be people who create agendas that are against God’s design for life. In this case, “King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold . . .” (v. 1) and commanded everyone in his empire, “As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up.” (v. 5) Whether it was motivated by pride, insecurity, evil or short-sightedness, this new edict put three of the King’s best servants in a bind. The second of the Ten Commandments says, “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them.” (Exodus 20:4-5)
• At some point, everyone needs to take a stand. The competing agendas on earth set up scenarios which require me to decide what I truly believe. Daniel’s friends could not worship the God of Israel and bow down to this image. In the same way, I will be faced with choices that cannot be reconciled. Taking a stand for what is true may be unpopular. It may even seem impossible. At times like these, the only reason for standing is deep-seated conviction. “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” (v. 17-18)
• God is faithful. Of course, this story ends with a miracle. “They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.” (v. 27) Even if the Angel of the Lord had not intervened and these three had lost their lives, they would have stood before their God with a clean conscience. In either life or death, they would have experienced the love, grace and provision of their God in the areas of life that matter the most.
I cannot predict when or where the challenges of life will be for me but I can be prepared to stand with the author of truth who has promised “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

What Motivates Me?

As I was reading Daniel 2 today, I encountered this statement, “Then Daniel returned to his house and explained the matter to his friends Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. He urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that he and his friends might not be executed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon.” (v. 17-18) It got me to thinking, “I would be highly motivated to pray if I believed execution was imminent!” Daniel didn’t have to give much explanation or work very hard to persuade his friends because personal survival was a sufficient motivation.
Fortunately, I am not currently living in imminent danger but the scenario led me to ask, “What motivates me? What keeps me committed to what I think is important and provides energy for my pursuits in the midst of the ups and downs of real life?” It is impossible to sum up personal motivation in a few simple statements but as I begin this new year, I am aware that the following are aspects of what keeps me going:
• My life (and yours) is a partnership with God. After God revealed the King’s dream to Daniel, he prayed, “I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors: You have given me wisdom and power,
you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king.” (v. 23) Daniel was going to appear before the king but God provided the information he needed to succeed. In similar fashion, I have work to do, a family to support, responsibilities to pursue and causes to fight. Along the way, God provides wisdom and power so that these activities have eternal influence.
• I love the people God has put in my life. Just as Daniel had his three friends, God has filled my life with individuals I care deeply about. My wife, kids, and grandkids are extremely important to me. I am not always happy with them but I always want what is best for them. If I am honest, the times I am upset with them is caused by the sense that they are either under-achieving or performing below their abilities. In contrast, I find great satisfaction when they learn new things, grow wiser and develop new skills.
• I love helping others succeed. I know some people gain energy from personal accolades, being in charge or finding answers but, for whatever reason, I gain motivation when I feel like I have helped others find new insight, persevere in tough circumstances, develop healthier relationships or discover the skills they need for their personal or professional life.
• I remember the change. There was a time in my life when I didn’t know Jesus and had no sense of what my life was all about. I did things in life because I enjoyed them but I had no sense that I was created for a purpose. I grew up the youngest child in a dramatic home. My response was to develop strategic numbness to protect myself from getting hurt in the conflict. Since I met my Savior, the numbness has gradually been replaced with the understanding that I am “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)
2012 promises to be filled with opportunities and obstacles, successes and setbacks, breakthroughs and bottlenecks. My goal is to maintain my motivation through it all so that I stay true to my convictions.

Closing in on Contentment

It seems the more we progress, the harder it is to be content. We have better televisions, better phones and better appliances than we have ever had. We have better modes of transportation than any generation before us. We have technological advantages that seemed like science fiction just a few years ago. I was reflecting yesterday just how connected I am to my sons even though they all live in different states. Just to give you one example, I was disappointed that I was going to miss one of my youngest son’s college football games while he was playing against his older brother’s alma mater. I was going to be driving from Western Indiana to Louisville, Kentucky at game time. But, I have a cellular broadband card for my laptop. I was able to connect to the internet while Pam drove on the freeway and I watched the game at 65 miles per hour. It was awesome but it created a whole new level of expectation. I now fight disappointment any time I miss a game because they are all projected on the internet.
I am also amused how impatient I have become with computer issues. It was not long ago that the internet was just a topic of discussion. Now it has become an expectation of constant and immediate connection with anyone at any time. Rather than marvel at the advancement and remain patient with the problem-solving, I find myself irritated and stressed over processes that were not even possible a couple of years ago.
The details have changed but the struggle is nothing new. The book of Haggai begins with a similar scenario. The people of Israel had focused on pulling their lives together. They had built homes and businesses. They had their city functioning well and their needs were being addressed. Contentment, however, was elusive. “You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” (v. 6) The point of the chapter is that Israel could not find the contentment they were looking for because their priorities were out of focus. There was nothing wrong with their houses, their food, their clothes or their professional pursuits. The problem was they were ignoring the fact that the spiritual foundation of their nation was in disrepair. The temple, referred to as the house of God, was unusable because it was in shambles. ““Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?” (v. 4) They couldn’t find contentment because the issues of the heart were being ignored.
This creates quite a challenge for me, my family and my friends. Every advancement is a potential distraction from the real source of life. It is easy to rely on social networking, virtual research and computer-driven processes to meet the needs of our lives. It is much harder to value the simple skills of personal devotions, quiet times of prayer, personal reflection and simple conversations with family and friends when life is filled with impressive gadgets. It is not an either or scenario. God never told the Israelites to get rid of their houses or the advantages in their lives. He simply reminded them to do first things first, which is the secret to contentment.
Lord, give us wisdom in the coming year to recognize the priority of things as we are inundated with new possibilities.